just a few jokes english humour is scarce in romania

What did James Brown's missus get for christmas?A smaller f**king turkey.
This is the best joke of all time!

priest walking down a Country road when he spots a car overturned
8 year old crying
my mommy and daddy are dead
priest drops his trousers and goes
Its not your day is it?

TWO SNOWMEN WERE IN A FEILD...

ONE SAYS "CAN U SMELL CARROTS"

Do u reckon the Queen's ever pulled the sheets right up in bed, just showing her head and said
"look phillip am a stamp?"

Whats the most confusing day in Brixton.

Fathers day

a rich man and a poor man are standing in a pub they are both talking about what they got there wives for christmas
rich man says i got mine a brand new bmw,solid gold ring and a new house.
poor man says what the f**ck did you do that for i got my wife pair of slippers and a vibrator.

rich man says why did you get her a vibrator t
he poor man turns at him and says because if she doesnt like the slippers she can f**ck herself.

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry.
So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total make over with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says,
"I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest.
She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and

decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.